Monday, May 31, 2010

I will be bald by the end of the day

I’m feeling overwhelmed this end of the month with a grant that has to go out by this evening. It’s not a big dossier or a complicated project, but it’s a collaboration between our lab and one in Romania. Our Romanian partner is a real sticky bit, and when the directions say the requests from the two labs have to be identical, he takes that to mean down to the word, and the order of the words. Never mind they’re not in the same language. Never mind that the form I have to fill out asks different questions than his form.
I understand that the lists of personnel and etc have to correspond, and that we have to talk about the same project, not each of us wanting something different. But this identical-ness is driving me up the wall. It can’t be done, Lucian. CHILL OUT.
But anyway. Just to have a little fun at last with the grant-ese nonsense, here’s my (incomprehensible) ticket for the Poetry Bus. Bill’s task for us was to take a sentence, chop it in half, take another one and chop it. Mix the bits into a poem. Linguistic repairs at the junctions are allowed, but hey, would they really help here ?

On requesting a Travel Grant from the European Union.
Afin de développer l’expérience de l’équipe à Iasi, plusieurs stages sont prévus à Clermont-Ferrand.
Ce travail nous enseigne lorsque le risque de cancer de l’ovaire est de 54 % pour BRCA1 et 28 % pour BRCA2.
Nous soutenons la promotion de la coopération entre universités et institutions de recherche sur les mutations récurrentes et uniques présentes dans la population roumaine.
Les conséquences d’une mutation germinale d’un gène BRCA visent le développement de la capacité de recherche.
Les objectifs généraux du présent projet incluent le risque cumulatif à 80 ans de cancer du sein approche 90 % pour les deux gènes.
Sont lourdes: l’ouverture de la recherche roumaine vers le milieu scientifique international et sa connection au milieu socio-économique Européen et international.
so there you have it. I hope you had as much fun as I did.


Barry said...

What's almost as much fun is what the google translator makes of it all--

In order to develop the experience of the team to Iasi, several trainings are foreseen to clermont-ferrand. This work we sign when the risk of cancer of the ovaire is of 54% for BRCA1 and 28% for BRCA2. We support the promotion of the cooperation between universities and research institutions on the recurrent and unique mutations present in the Romanian population. The germinal consequences of a mutation of a gene BRCA aim the development of the capacity of research. The general objectives of the present project include the cumulative risk to 80 years of cancer of the breast approaches 90% for the two genes. Are heavy: the opening of the Romanian research towards the international scientific environment and his in the middle social European economical connection and international.

Bill said...

Une poésie trouvée, un "prêt à l'emploi", je pense. Et pourquoi pas? C'est l'Autobus de Poésie pour vous! :)

Poetikat said...

Je ne comprends pas tout, mais je crois que le poeme est merveilleux!

Feel free to correct my very bad French!


Titus said...

I loved the bits I understood, and am pretty sure I loved the bits I didn't!
I'm also not sure Barry was any help...
Grant applications. Death to all thought, in my experience.

Argent said...

I've actually read poems by so-called 'proper' poets that make less sense than this :-)

Tabor said...

I have just been on three day holiday...this is too hard.

Reya Mellicker said...

My guess is that, even if my French wasn't so rusty, my eyes would cross trying to understand the poem.

May the force be with you!

Peter Goulding said...

Formidable (mais ce n'est pas la guerre)
Love your sense of the ridiculous! Brilliant!

Bagman and Butler said...

I'm glad to read Barry's translation since my high school French is tres mal. (The only two words I remember). Except of course for the lyrics of the old rock and roll song, "Voulez vous choucher avec moi...or something like that." Writing in Grantlish definitely makes anyone bald.

NanU said...

Hi Mark, regarding that old song, it's even more risqué for people who know french, since "vous" is either formal and she's asking to sleep with someone she knows quite slightly, or plural and we wonder how many she's inviting! A more normal 'veux-tu coucher avec moi ce soir' doesn't fit in the meter, alas.
Très mal is a good bit to remember. From my college russian, I can only say 'ja ne vino vat' (it's not my fault) and 'ne znai-ou' (I don't know).