I never did finish my P-bus poem for today. So typical of my days for weeks now, maybe I should just take some things off my calender altogether. But no, not the fun things! Here's the fragment, which on its own has a certain enigmatic quality - you'd never know the theme is to write about our lives. Perhaps I'll finish the thought for another week.
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Like a rock in a stream
Water going by
Just going on by
Taking bits with it, tiny microscopic bits.
In time, worn smooth
A long time
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Click here for other takes on Enchanted Oak's theme.
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Final
5 months ago
10 comments:
I'm liking this as it is. It reads like a taoist philosophy thing. delicious!
Not bad at all - as Watercats says, pretty philosophic, not bad for someone with a busy schedule!
I like it - particularly the repetition of bits and time.
It works for me! Rock in a stream is an ideal metaphor for life. (Would love to see the rest too.)
I ADORE your header!
Kat
Yes. I like this one too. It has just enough simplicity and repetition to make the point but enough variety to keep moving. A lot said in a small poem.
I don't know...I think this is totally appropriate. Of course, I write about a fish! What's that tell you?
I played with your simile for a bit, trying different subjects:
My brain, like a rock worn smooth...hmmm
My love for you, lost bit by bit....hmmm
The memory of you, worn away....hmmm
I'm happy that you gave us the fragment. Hope you clear that calendar a litter.
I enjoyed this ... could feel the water flow ... could almost feel time standing still.
I actually think that really nice its a complete poem to me, I rather likes it!
2 weeks bus driving in a row? No problemo, neat idea! You are down for the 24th Jan, would you like the week before or the week after? Thankly!
TFE: the week after would be better. I'm thinking of a task that takes develops over time, and driving twice in a row is a way of getting the theme out there early enough.
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